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Is it possible to be happy and apathetic at the same time ? It's like my mind is in a vigorous game of tug of war.I want more than anything to be happy, not just content but genuinely happy.I love my boyfriend I mean isn't it obvious? Have I not proved myself loyal enough yet.He's my everything . The day we met ....well "formally" met I knew our futures would be intertwined from then on out. How? Well because I have a gift of knowing things haha .Anyway he makes me happy regardless of all that's going on but in the long run will that be enough ? Only time will tell I guess. I wish I had a time machine .I wish I could take back every cruel thing I said.Every petty argument ...maybe things would be different.Seems that way.

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