Now remember .Knowledge is power .....SO YOU JUST LOST !!! .....and not knowing is just half the battle . :)
I saw something that reminded me of then.....him,us. The debate in my mind .Do I care? I can honestly say no . Did it bother me ? Sure ,that used to be mine.Not hers.Did I want to gain possession of that once more? No.Absolutely not .No regrets .Reminisce? A little ,but when I returned to the present I realized it was so much bigger, more important then my past.Our past .
My scars never cared what I said they,never wanted an apology.Never needed an explanation.Never needed time.Never needed consulting .Never kept me up at night wondering . .Scars don't talk.Exactly my point they were just there .When I let my razor pull against my skin ,grazing my veins .Everything was fine again .No headaches.No stress.No disagreements.No lingering arguments.Just peace,a beautiful thing.Until I abandoned my metallic ally .Now everything that I was able to avoid is suddenly flooding my life.Feelings are hurt.Non-stop apologies.Half-Ass explanations.Sleepless nights.Unwanted Opinions.Interludes.Chain of Unhappiness caused by a minor thought spoken aloud .All this uncertainty is killing me .It's making me want to throw in the towel and proclaim that this game is over by forfeit.
You ever just feel like something is off .That lump that's camping out in your throat .The feeling like someone is dropping bombs down your esophagus and into your stomach.Feeling like you're gonna puke every five seconds .Anxiety reaches an unbelievable height. The ironic thing is you know you didn't do a thing and yet you feel so guilty.Your body opposite your mind.An Oxymoron without words.What the hell do you do?
I was right , a few people were right actually .Who would've guessed that the one thing that made me and my life somewhat pleasant is the one part of my life at the moment that isn't where I want it to be .Why must we bring up irrelevant things ? Is it because you enjoy listening to me scream ? Enjoy me being a bitch ? Do you find it sexy? haha .Whatever it is is wrecking everything.Just when I thought things were gonna go back to normal it turns 180. And for what? SEX ,really find a hobby and go knit me a sweater .I think you like conflict.I'm sorry was our relationship too boring for you? Needed a little something to respark your interest,terribly sorry I'm miserable Annie.....anyway .You said something that hurt my feelings I'm just a little better at hiding them than you are (score one for Kiani).It doesn't make since you bring up a past lifestyle that I HAVEN'T went back to since you.Yes I could've you know that so stop playing the victim when I state the obvious .No second thoughts? Mhm sure there wouldn't be any if this is how it's gonna be for now on.I can't handle it.You try to make me look like the bad guy running to your friends.Why the hell do I have to hear what you've been saying through my bestfriend ? You say you have bigger things to worry about ,then why are you searching to find something wrong.I'm not getting in the way of your plans .It's you and .....I don't even know .Insecurity ? Maybe who knows .If I wanted this I could've dated someone my own age honestly,which I don't do for this same reason .You're the one that was so sure about us being together for a while .Why are you wrecking it?
So Angelina, aka the bandwagon bitch is causing so many unnecessary problems on Jersey Shore .Like you know you've failed at life when you get Pauly D mad .The fuck are you smacking people for? I think that she's jealous that he doesn't want her .Next ! Snookie....all I have to say is I would go gayalltheway for her.I'm waiting though for the fight with JWoww and Sammie ,we know who's gonna win but still .I'd be scared to fight her let's face it that swing at Mike would've made me cry to my mom.If I was Angelina I would be taking that threat very seriously and keep both of my eyes open.Ronnie is just cosloppugus ,pick one douche juice you're either single or in a relationship .....and he can't dance.Vinny .........why much you be of such irrelevance .DO SOMETHING ! Anyway knowledge is power and not knowing is just half the battle.
I don't have regrets just mistakes I won't make again.
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