Anything & Everything

I hate playing messenger because my mom and her "fiance' " want to act like fourth graders.I want it to work out because
1.) She's getting to a time in her life where men aren't coming out the yin-yang like they used to
And
2.) I actually like this guy.He isn't like the usual idiot that comes and goes like a seasonal jacket.This guy doesn't make me wanna dismember him at all.
Besides all that one of these "adults" need to suck up their pride and stubborn-like ways and apologize for whatever happened

So apparently I've entrusted one too many people with my life,well the things in it.Like what the hell causes people to broadcast what's meant to be a secret.I mean I would think you would want the same in return but from the looks of it,it would seem as though you enjoy the attention you get from this. Not seeing or caring what kind of trouble that causes me .It's a fucking domino effect.Get It? So why be selfish?Dumb Asses of the world.

I feel bad that I'm doing the same thing to you ,that she did to me last year.It's not on purpose it's just that our opposites are repelling each other away .I have my own life going on ,as do you I just can't find the time to balance it.I feel bad that I ignore you sometimes because I feel like I can't be bothered with you.I feel bad that we can't be like we were freshmen year.Everything has changed ,I'm just not sure I want to changeit back yet.

Twenty-four hours a day my mind is occupied on the one thing that keeps my life going counter-clockwise.I know what I need to do to fix it , the problem is that I don't want to.For some reason I rather have this problem than lose it altogether.I rather ride on the brink of sanity and insanity than lay it to rest forever .

Whether talking about a friendship or relationship the word forever ruins everything.Why? Well because as soon as you hear it ,it puts you in the mind set of endlessness.Then when someone breaks up with you ,or when best friends drift apart it makes it ten times worse . Makes you actually believe that something can last a lifetime.It can't .I don't care what anybody says ,it's bullshit. Something can last for years and end .Is that an eternity?Is that forever?No .It's a span of time you wasted.Forever is when you have someone Wife,Husband,Friend,etc. that's there when you're old and soggy .When you become annoying .When you do something horrible and they're still there .When you're brain dead on life support .....sorry.Trying to make a point.......People throw that word around like it's trivial .They say it for the moment not for what it really means.Think about it.