Anything & Everything

Recently I've been feeling different ,about nothing in particular but then about everything .Somethings been off , or someone maybe even a combination of the two .I've been torn between what I know and what I'm completely new to .I mean do I go back to what I'm familiar too or stay and face the unknown ?Go back to knowing when ,where ,and how things were gonna happen or stick to the go with the flow and whatever happens ,happens? Right now my decisions aren't or maybe can't be based on me alone.I have to put other peoples' feelings and time in consideration ,and it's hard beyond hard actually .At the end of the day I just wanna be happy,content with what I'm doing with my life .

As if a six hour trip isn't enough for this women to have her precious "family time" . Like I really wanna get her some friends since a boyfriend Is out of the question .She made everyone take walk with her . WHAT THE FUCK go get a life .I didn't want to go just for the simple fact that I don't have anything to talk about with her or anyone for that matter .Then she tried to scare me with "don't ask me to go anywhere with anyone" .Are you freaking kidding me ? Where do I ask to go bitch ?You're trying to scare me with not hanging out with anyone .She should feel beyond stupid ! Why ? Because i'm always in the damn house .ALL THE DAMN TIME! This of course is the reason why i wasn't excited to get my license because I know she would find any and every excuse to take away my invisible freedom . Whatever . It's been too long since I've seen my therapist and it shows . Anyway knowledge is power and not knowing is just half the battle .

I hate it when my mom drags me to one of her little get togethers .like I have no reason to be here .the one lie I get all the time "well only stay for 45 minute" bitch we've been sitting here for like an hour I'm so fucking bored grr fuck my life and yours too . Okayy i'm finished just had to vent.

So I watched the BET awards and it was good ,even if they do get worse every year.They had the tribute to Michael Jackson and(Yeah one of the Jackson brothers, Tito or whichever one it was stood at the podium and talked about his brother Get off the stage your 25 minutes of fame are over). Chris Brown was singing it.Shocker! Big Whoop. .....Anyway he was doing amazing like I love watching him dance it's phenomenal,but then all of a sudden he started crying .Like what the hell? Did you forget that this man died last year.LAST YEAR not this year.All of a sudden you got the freaking memo that Mr. Thriller is 6 feet deep now ?Come on Chris get off of the stupid juice.Like he sang everything and got to "Man in the Mirror" and broke down into ridiculous sobs.Also on the 25 everyone on Twitter,Facebook,etc was all RIP MJ and what not .It was like Christmas,you know how you hang up those decorations for one day out of the year?What the fuck is that about?We don't know.So yeah knowledge is power and not knowing is just half the battle