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I'm conflicted. With who I wanna be and who I should be. It's time I made a decision, it isn't fair for everyone involved to be dragged along while I try and figure out what I'm going to do. Somehow I feel as if people are making it easier . Spreading their opinions among 2,3 people. How am I still in the dark while everyone else was given a flashlight. Am I not the key component to this schematic? If not then what the fuck am I still doing here. Instead of having your suspicions about me people should worry about who there friends are.
      When are we finally going to be mature enough to express our feelings with each other instead of with irrelevant people? I've been trying to build this strong relationship that people would envy, but I'm realizing ....what's there to want?
I'm sick of settling, I'm not saying I'm better than anyone , but I deserve better. I don't deserve to be second guessed all the time..... I haven't done anything. Although, there have been times when I have wanted to. I don't like people keeping tabs on me not you, your friend(s), I'm not a child. Seems like you trusted me more back then when all you knew about me was how I liked to be fucked.
     I haven't changed at all. I've been this way since we met. I'm only in a harder exterior, but of course you have yourself to blame for that. I've come to the conclusion after all this time that I love myself more than I love him, and for a while it was the opposite. I'm at a point in my life where if it needs to be done it can be no hard feelings . I won't bother him ever again. If that's what he wants. I'm just tired.

Well, knowledge is power and not knowing is just half the battle....


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