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I don't really have anything meaningful to say today so you can read about my bland day.
Geometry.So very boring there's this one girl that ask questions like her life depended on it .Aah it's like Shut the hell up .I mean it's already hard enough to pay attention when I don't have my fucking meds.On my way to English I stopped in the bathroom .I hate that there's always a line for the mirror I swear.Ridiculous.English.Favoritism.That's all I'm going to say.Lunch.This guy i swear freaks me out .He's always there.AP Geo.Loud and Obnoxious as always.I find that I'm slowly breaking away from certain friends,finding new ones,maybe it's for the best I'm not really upset about it.Actually I could really care less.
You know what I find funny you look at me just to smile and look down.It freaking makes my day sometimes. :)

So I wrote this in P.E. ,sitting on the bleachers today, it's sort of an observation about us females.
Why do girls find the need to reiterate every part of a conversation ?(Example:She was like,I was like,He was like, etc.) It's like o.k. I was right there and my ass isn't slow so why are you telling me something that happened less than 30 seconds ago.Why do some girls find the need to put on a performance every time an attractive male specimen comes along.They're like circus animals waiting for their ringmaster to throw them a treat.Another thing is there is a reason why our voices don't get deeper.Our voices are already louder than most guys so why are they(we) so loud,why put forth that extra effort? Something else I noticed is that the closer a guy gets their(our) voices goes up an octave .We claim how complex we are .How much better we are then boys .So far you're(we) just proving why girls/women are looked down upon.No one cares about intellect points everyone wants the Cool,Cute,Pretty points.
Well that's all I got to write bent over my biology book. Like I was actually reading it .I don't think anyone noticed .They were too busy socializing on the bleachers with everyone else.

Today has been a bummy crummy day.It looked like it was going to rain all day.My mom had to go to work until like 4 so I was stuck babysitting the brat.The highlight of my day was when I drove my car mom dukes tensing up beside me.
Kiani can you see over your dash board?"

Umm yeah we didn't crash yet did we?"

Ha shit was weak.Then we went to Walmart,me and my sister saw these three cute skater guys.We had our creeper moment ,but so did they we went in the toy section and there they were doing absolutely nothing but looking at us I was laughing so hard.So that's my Saturday.

I used to ask myself why.Why didn't you talk to me anymore? Why does it feel like I did something wrong when we both know it was you who has been fallacious .I don't know what makes me reenter my meta life as soon as you appear maybe it's because when we first met I wanted you to like me .So much that I ignored all of your personality flaws .Now when we see each other it's a wave,maybe a smile and we go our separate ways.No more conversations .No more awkward silences it's just silence. If I could I would take back what we can't ever take back just to return to how it used to be.

So I have this best-friend her name will stay secret just in case you're one of those creepers we try to stay away from.We got to play in the rain today after school .Of course we got those weird stares like why the fuck are they cartwheeling in wet grass.Well I wish I could have answered that but honestly I didn't know .It's just when we're together the maturity in us disappears for a period of time.Usually I'm always self-conscious of every ones opinion ,but with her I could really care less what anyone has to say.Trust me it will get worse it always does we're just getting started. Last year we were like to most outrageous people out there no lie.So if you see two girls singing in the rain or crying in the cold nine times out of ten that's us not having the lives we claim we have.

So yesterday was very ...Epic.Why you might ask,well I really don't feel like typing the whole story but just know that that very well could have been the day I laid down to die.I'm sorry for my depressing humor.It was perfect I got to chill with that old friend I told you about.Everything was perfect until the "warden" got home. I will tell you this much I've never been more scared in my whole life .Not even when I almost got hit with a bus on my way to school.Anyway it turns out my sister isn't that much of a lame as I thought if it wasn't for her I would of crumpled under the pressure,she helped me so much .Like I don't think I could have appreciated her anymore than I did yesterday.

what is wack but to define what you are if you don't follow a certain suit .If you don't fall under a certain criteria you are considered wack.Or for my well educated people that don't mind a few synonyms(eccentric,anomalous,outalndish) all perfect examples .The funny thing is that as much as we would hate to be called any of those names we're all so quick to do that onto other people.If you think about it no one would be wack if everyone accepted everyone and their different "ways".So if someones wack to you then odds are you're wack to them.Everyone.You.Me.Her.Him.We're all wack in some way or another.
Another Pointless Post.Live it Love it.

Wow surprisingly this is one of the only Internet worthy sites allowed on the school's proxy thing.To make this a tad more exciting I'm not even suppose to be on here .Here's my actual destination,Free Rice .Fucking lame.So I guess I'll write a quick post.
I was almost late for school today because.....well I don't know actually.I feel like crap the only two reasons why I'm pulling through this sluggish day is because one,I might be getting my car today I saw it and my mom approved so I'm waiting for it to arrive in my driveway,and the other is that I have plans to hang with an old friend.Well it's too soon to tell how this day will end whether it be with me in a good mood or me in a not so pleasant one.Hopefully lunch will go well.I sit with people I don't know.Wait no take that back .I know them but we only talk when we're in the cafeteria.I don't know sometimes I feel like they feel obligated to take me in .It doesn't matter,lunch is only like 45 minutes anyways so I'll get over it.AP Geo later maybe it won't be as stressful as it normally is.You would think I was talking about the massive amount of work ,but I'm not it's some of my "fellow students" .They talk out of turn,make random remarks and are just loud for the hell of it.Who knew so many attention whores could occupy one class.Reminds me of the middle school days haha.Like two years ago.Well I'll leave it at that .I think I'm going to make another post after this.

What's wrong with me why do I always find the need to continue these semi-relations that engulf my life in the flames of complication.You see regular people,normal people,AVERAGE people can discard someone from their life with no problem .Me? I just can't help but to drift towards my old habit of people and their shenanigans I wanna say.The people I try to....Umm I don't wanna say avoid because frankly I don't have the energy or time to work around seeing a certain person.But I just try not to concern myself in their life whether it be current love interest or just something alluring going on in their life.Because as soon as I allow myself to be pulled in, the cycle that I've been trying to stay away from resurfaces .I'm like a fucking hoarder.You know that show on TLC where there's always this weird women with a gazillion cats and she resorts to sleeping on a sofa so her precious kitties can dominate the rest of the house.That's a Hoarder.Well I will admit I had a cat...maybe two but they're gone.Anyways it's like I hoard friends .It's like I let them sit on a shelf until one decides to come back to life . Absolutely useless.

So you know your life has come to a dull stop when the little things make you ohsohappy.Like you used to chill with everyone in your phone and now your phone is the only way you stay connected with your people.Or when your weekends actually become a family affair instead of a chill day.Maybe when school,home,and the occasional trip to the mall were your only attempts you made to have that social life that has been disappearing oh so slowly .
Why am I allowing myself to become exactly like the person I dread to become .It's like making friends is easy,a no brainer .It's the whole keeping in touch thing that makes me wanna be alone.Like I like the type of friends that are like I'll see you whenever instead of the let's all go watch this movie together then after we'll have a big fucking feast at fucking "Ruby Tuesday" and everyone will spill their innermost secrets and figure out which one of their friends' relationships to include themselves in .
But then again I look at my sister and she's like a frigging social butterfly.Like she has so many friends and she talks to every single one of them every day.It's like her phone is constantly vibrating,and I don't know how she does it or what she does but it seems like her posse is always at my door begging her to come out(like she needs an ego boost).The funny thing is she doesn't even try they just seem to flock towards her.If it were up to her she would spend her days in a Teenspot chat-room insulting the religious kids.
Who knows .Three years left of high school left to figure it out.

Glee is coming back on.Finally !
Well today has been quite vexatious.It drove me insane all day I felt like everyone was watching. Paranoid much? Well walking to class usually I have someone with me ,but since we have all new schedules I found out that very few of my friends are out when I'm out.So I just cruise the hall alone ,doesn't really bother me all that much because I see everyone after school so...All the new people (not just freshman) are okay.Between bells it's so loud ,so many conversations going on about absolutely nothing ,and of course you can never escape those loud ghetto people.The ones who think they need to yell from one end to another.I wish they wouldn't do that,it drives me insane but what I hate most are those people who insist on talking about someone they don't even know like right in front of their face.It's so mean,If you're going to make a negative comment about a person at least wait until they are out of ear shot.Like who the hell are you to be that...bitchy?

10th grade same as 9th not much of a difference so far it's just a title,a role I'm forced to play.Some people from last year surprisingly haven't changed meaning their immaturity level remains the same.Like seriously.Freshman need I say more.I hate when "upperclassmen" are like look at the freshman cooing at them it's like your ass was a freshman (some of you more than once). All the expectations you have to listen to.All the pointless but "oh so necessary" papers you have to get signed.This year my school is officially overcrowded like it's ridiculous.Teachers and their majestic attitudes.Sometimes I just want to knock them off of their imaginary pedestal .They think they're freaking god when really they're at the bottom of the career chain.Making less than average a year.I met a few new people ,still finding the need to gravitate towards my old friends.

Ugh scrambling around for those few things that slipped through the cracks of my thought to be full proof list.Mentally preparing myself for a new year of wasted education.Stupid girls,Stupid guys.Oh well .Looking back on this summer is making me both depressed and amazed .Depressed because of course I have to go back to school,but amazed at how much I've changed and other people changed.At the beginning of the summer I wrote an entry (private of course) of what I wanted to happen,what I wanted to change.It's crazy because everything I wanted I got but not in the way I expected which is okay.Now that I look back I see that I didn't need any of it.My priorities are entirely different now.No more wasting my time or energy on anyone or anything not worth it .

The things you did or said last year no longer need to be regretted just forgotten .People remember but odds are they don't care anymore.Time to enter back into the realm of insanity.High school.Myspace overflowing with bulletins all saying "schedule". Everyone excited to get the piece of paper that controls your life from here until June.Why?Hurrying to figure out who you're going to sit with at lunch.Expecting new people to replace the ones that moved.Old drama possibly resurfacing like a bad case of deja'vu .Going all out for your last days of freedom.Thinking about what you want to be different this year.Time to bury summer of 09 and write its epitaph .


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