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I don't understand.I don't understand how the OhSoWonderful climax of your life can take such a dramatic fall without you even noticing until it's too late.What did I miss ? Sitting here,contemplating on whether to try and revive this bloodless connection or start over altogether.I didn't want to be the one to end our bond I still don't, but I feel as if you're giving me no choice.Yes, words were spoken.Connections were built on an erratic foundation .I want this nothing more but I will not settle for less and if that means putting this on hold or stopping it altogether.I guess.I guess that's what I'll have to do.



Being that it's almost over this summer school crap and stuff I thought I'd leave a little memoir to look back on .These past weeks haven't been as awful as I thought they would be .The funny part is everyone comes here to sleep (as if that's not one of the reason why you're sitting in a classroom for the summer).I'm like HELLO!? You're going to fail...again.and of course there are some people who I wish would go to sleep so I don't have to hear them.



I guess the whole "let's combine three schools into one" idea wasn't all that bad.For the most part everyone stayed with who they knew instead of meeting new people.Some people had their little attitudes,which you learn to look past it.Honestly I don't really give a damn how you look at me.



We have breaks or should I say a break.That's only like 15 minutes.Now let's do the math you sit in a seat for 6 hours and in that 360 minutes you only get not even half of an hour.I mean is this our punishment for failing or for some people for trying to get ahead.



Hmm other than that the teachers are pretty chill well mine is.The clock is you're enemy.Going slow when you want it to go fast,and fast when you need things to slow down. You start to lose the battle of You vs.Your eyelids.No matter what you're gonna lose ,and you'll find yourself in a deep but uncomfortable sleep.Dreams feel like hours but you wake up and it's only been 5 minutes.

So my sister and I walk in the DMV and immediately the "rent a cop" stops us and says .The line starts back there and pointed his fat finger towards this line of people.I told him I just needed a book so I could study for that permit test or whatever .He just looks at me and says."You have a few more years to go don't you ".I was like what are you talking about? He says you know you have to be like 15 to take it .I told him I was fully aware.My sister started laughing.It wasn't funny .So I go to this desk and ask the same thing.Instead of the ignorant questions I get the ignorant stare from the lady behind the desk.I told her I was 15 and I doubt she believed me .
Okay so what the fuck would I be doing in there if I wasn't old enough.i swear I wanted to kick that lady in her face and deprive that cop of his food.

Spending time with the people you care about is a good thing,but what all does it take to get everyone together?There's always that one friend who's say "We should all go do something ." the plan coordinator.

You think every part of your plan is perfect.The place,the people are all set.Then something happens and everything unravels like a newly macramé d garment not yet tied off.And you get a little flustered ......for what something that you knew wasn't going to happen.So either be satisfied with "having plans" or become a more spontaneous motherfucker .Just go with the flow and I guarantee you'll be a happier person.

I hate it when people ask for advice only to be offended when receiving it . You give them an honest opinion,and you're the bad guy.So I've decided to keep my head in my own shit and everyone else can kick rocks ,crash and burn.

Anticipation.That huge amount of adrenaline you get when you know something is about to happen.Good or Bad.You can literally hear your heart trying to escape .You wonder can people around you ?Then all of a sudden everything drops .Your point of existence for the next 3 or 4 hours is gone.Temper.It's what you wanna lose.Odds are it's what you're gonna lose.Me? Happens all the time.Lose it now , explanations and apologies later.That's what I say.Sometimes I regret the things I say .It's very seldom that you'll get an apology but if I feel that I owe you one you'll get it.

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