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Why must people take things that aren't theirs .I don't give a damn how less fortunate you are,if you don't like me ,if you wanted "nice things" I don't care.I won't say i'm an all around good person ,but I would never steal from anyone .Oh how I wish we lived in the time of the people of Mesopotamia .Their law...a very effective one, is the code of Hammurabi.It's really just a sadistic type of karma .Those who steal have their fingers sliced off.Yeah that's what I'd like to do to whoever stole my ipod.I hope who ever she is dies a slow and painful death.It isn't that serious Kiani.Not that serious ? Well let's see being that I'm off my meds I don't have the luxury of drowning out these twisted thoughts.I don't see my Shrink every week anymore because she thinks I'm "progressing" everyother week just isn't helping btw.So basically my ipod was the only thing that could calm me down and pull me back from snapping on some poor innocent person.So now what? What do I do?

Why does it feel like I'm always being over shadowed .When I'm alone it's easier to stand out ,but when I'm accompanied by my sister it's always Kiani who? I don't despise my sister ,it's not her fault she has a nice face and an overly annoying personality that no one can resist.I mean sometimes I feel like I should have been born second to her then I wouldn't be harboring these feelings of envy.The pangs of jealousy whenever someone points to her to be the oldest or she's approached by some guy and she hints that I'm the oldest .Oh the Kodak moments when their faces drop every last one of them .It would be quite funny if it didn't hurt as bad.It's like everyday she comes home with a different story "some guy hit on me and it was gross " .Woe is fucking you .That's like saying you own Disney Land but you never have anything to do.It doesn't make sense.For once I'd like someone to just ...I don't know another time.Another Entry.Remember knowledge is power and not knowing is just half the battle .

I expect to be forgotten ,but completely ? Am I so irrelevant that my existence has seized to exists .Not trying to be confusing just trying to figure it out.The thoughts that should be gone.What could've been ? Was it really me ? Questions that still linger.I guess jealousy struck when I saw my bestfriend achieve what we both wanted from what seemed like forever ago.I'm happy for her you know.Maybe I'm just ranting .I guess we both had our chance (more than once).I just didn't know what to do when it presented itself to me .....and she did .


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