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I never understood how the person who seems to have everything you could ever want and can do anything without reprimand is still unhappy . Why am I forced to sit through the tears, why am I forced to slap on this fictitious smile and pretend like I have no problems of my own, therefore having the time to solve their own. Why do I have to keep feeding the same advice repetitively in order to make you understand the obvious. I've come to the point in my life where I've eliminated all of the parasitical relationships but one out of my life. And yet this is the one that that's taking the most from me . Not physically but mentally. What good is a best friend if you can't share your inner secrets in hopes of some much needed second opinions.

It seems like every person I meet wants something, but doesn't go the extra mile for me . Waiting for the day. I intended for this to be longer but all of a sudden my words vanished......

So remember knowledge is power and not knowing is just half the battle.

So at two in the morning Alan was here .Beautiful nights I must say . Anyway ever since we found out he's been super affectionate . I don't know why . It's a great feeling though. I don't plan on telling people until I need too. Him on the other hand is excited like there's no tomorrow. I guess plans of moving in together will come sooner than this summer I hope .I miss waking up next to him just about every morning.
His Mom's loves me his whole family does actually and they all said that we'll be great. They're already planning a few things for us . (geez I love them ) I believe them of course because I know it's true .My life right now is like freaking cloud nine . Mustang, a job, My Penis <3 Absolute perfection and NO ONE will ruin it. Pics up soon <3

So take a picture this is a prime example of happiness at its peak.
You should try and find it .

Knowledge is power and not knowing is just half the battle

I for once in my life I have nothing negative to say. That's probably why writing this is difficult . Usually the strength of my posts are powered by my anger or hurt. The thing is I'm neither. I'm relieved , a little apprehensive , but nonetheless happy. Damn I hope I don't jinx it.
It could either go two ways . I could have been right and my era of patience was well sought out for . Or I was wrong and I become the fool everyone has already labeled me as. I have faith in him . I honestly do and I believe he'll take us serious this time.I see my friends and I don't want us to be anything like them . I want us both to be genuinely happy with one another instead of just contenting ourselves. Lazy Dating is something I don't support because in the end someone will get hurt.

Only time will tell

Anyway, Knowledge is power and not knowing is just half the battle



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