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Love can't find you when you're dead .That's the only way I can escape .I made a mistake and I'm living with it.I can't even write about him without crying.I can't think about him without crying.I love him,Alan ,I love him so much .It's consuming every thing in me.I know I ended it and I realize how dumb I was.The pathetic part is I don't even think he wants me back.Who would blame him I'm a wreck that doesn't know what I want.I just can't let go.The more I think he lets go the tighter my grip gets.I just want it all to be over .I know this post makes no sense but thats how my head is .I love you .I want you back.

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