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Why am I the one to put up with this shit.No one cares. No one sticks up for me.Why? Oh yeah because I'm not relevant anymore.Maybe I should just give in. What's the point of sticking around if I'm not even worth saying something for? "I love her so respect her" the words I've been craving since November 2010 .All those messages,me keeping my mouth shut because I didn't want to stress him out anymore than. he already was I'm glad I didn't say anything it wouldn't of been a waste as I can see. All of those messages and I said nothing .No one to tell then no one to care now.So many words and I was nice to her.I tried even when I hated him and her.I tried because I loved him .but if no one will fend for me I have no other alternative.
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It isn't my fault this drama will never cease and yet in the end I'm going to be the one booted and forgotten.I already know how it's going to end. It isn't fair just when I thought everything was relatively okay people ruin it. I would never ask him to choose because I'm scared of the answer. He knows.She knows.I know.It will always be her.What do I have to offer? Myself? Yeah, because that was worth alot in the past.She has the only thing he wants.What about me? It isn't like I'm some drop dead gorgeous girl,hell most days I don't even feel attractive.....I look like I'm 12 and my body could be better...I'm not that interesting of a person and optimism just isn't in my vocabulary.No one wants to deal with that . And I don't blame them ...It'd be nice though.

Why can't I ever be happy. Times like this I miss Amber she always understood how I felt and the thoughts were never a secret with her.But Amber is dead and I'm still here.She was brave enough and I'm still the coward .

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