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I have a headache so I don't feel like writing . Um and I'm downloading music (not that you care) . So uh laptop it is.

I'm waiting for the day when I wake up content at the very least. Maybe I'm just not one that will ever be uhm happy .Although, I know it's possible ...well you know. It's like a what now phase. I'm noticing that I'm a little on edge I don't know if I should blame it on the Prozac I've been taking irregularly. My temper is very short...shorter then usual.I just wanna hurt someone .My head just isn't where it should be .So much suppressed anger,frustration,sadness. I just want someone to feel the way I do.So cliche' right? It's like gee this is what I have shrinks for right? Wrong, there are certain things you just don't tell people. Some thoughts are meant to be kept private forever. If I tell someone it's like an automatic trip to another loony bin that I refuse to go to. You'd have to sedate me to get me there again. So what do I do? It's eating away at me. It's like there are these violent thoughts.Then they're these depressing thoughts that consume my whole day.Like why the hell am I like this . I just wanna be normal. I've never said that in my whole life ,but I can't take it. People say you're being dramatic .You don't have to think about that .You don't have to act that way .It's not some switch you can turn off .It's just there.Like a disease...well it is a disease but ..I don't know you know what I mean .Then again maybe you don't. I just want to tell someone what going on without being judged .Without being sent somewhere ....Anyway I know I'm asking for too much and no one gives a fuck all that much about me so whatever.I'll deal how I've been dealing .
HMm knowledge is power and not knowing is just half the battle.


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